It is always tricky to estimate how much to give at a wedding. Striking a balance between not appearing stingy and not putting yourself in financial difficulty is essential. Here is a simple tool to help you estimate how much money you should give as a wedding guest.
Our method for determining how much to give at a wedding
We recommend estimating what the couple spends per person and multiplying it by the number of adults with income in your household. This gives you a base amount to give at a wedding. Adjust it according to your financial situation and your closeness to the couple.
To give you an idea of the cost per guest at a wedding
If it’s a seated meal, count between 50 and 100€ per adult on average for food and wine. For a food truck or a casual wedding barbecue, estimate between 30 and 60€ per person.
Renting a castle is more expensive (40 to 60€ per person on average) than a wedding in the couple’s garden or a community hall (5 to 20€ per person).
Also, adjust the amount if the couple provides accommodation (20€/person for a dormitory, 60 to 100€ for a private room). In that case, you will probably have brunch with them the next day (20 to 40€ per person).
Obviously, everyone doesn’t give the same amount.
For example, if you are a witness, still a student, or a young worker with additional costs for the bachelor or bachelorette party, you will naturally give less. If you have a good salary and are the bride’s uncle, you might give a bit more. In any case, adjust the amount to your situation and don’t put yourself in financial difficulty.
If you are only invited to the cocktail or just for dessert, as is customary in Belgium, around thirty euros per person is sufficient.
Moreover, it is important to note that the wedding and its reception are gifts that the couple gives to themselves and to you. They do not expect guests to reimburse the party. However, it is polite to adjust the amount you give based on the experience the couple offers, hence the importance of our calculation method. It’s similar to bringing a more substantial gift when invited to a two-week vacation at a friend’s place compared to just being invited for a drink.
How to give money as a wedding gift?
Now that you have determined the amount to give to the couple, here’s how to present this wedding gift.
If the couple has a wedding list or online fund, prefer this option
You want to know how an online wedding fund works? Log in directly to the website and symbolically choose the gift you want to invest this amount in.
For example: I contribute 60 € for them to go snorkeling during their honeymoon.
In reality, the couple will receive this money directly into their bank account, but this way, they can think of you when they go for this activity. It adds a more personal touch than just a bill.
The couple will provide an urn at the reception
This is usually indicated on the invitation, but even if it’s not, there will probably be one on site. If you are attending a wedding in France, a check is usually preferred. If the wedding is in Belgium, avoid checks, which are no longer used, and prefer cash.
In any case, do not just place the money in the urn but slip it into an envelope with a congratulatory card. This way, the couple knows who to thank for the amount.
You are unsure if there will be an urn on site
Start by asking the couple or their parents, but if it’s not planned, you can transfer money to the couple’s account with your name and “Congratulations” as the reason.
You can still bring a small greeting card on the day, which is always touching.
Now you know everything about how much and how to give money as a wedding gift. This method is also valid for other events like baptisms, birthdays, or wedding anniversaries!